Rule 5 with Edward Snowden’s Girlfriend

Lindsay Mills ReadingHappy weekend everyone. Edward Snowden’s hot girlfriend Lindsay Mills is reportedly living with him in Moscow. War is not always Hell.

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: The Concept of Love

American Power: Rosie Jones Returns to Zoo

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: The Consolations Of The Elbows

The Daley Gator: Daley Gator Dailybabe Claudia Lizaldi

Nailgun Evi: Doris Day: Happy 90th Birthday and Rule 5

Lindsay Mills Blue UnderwearI don’t like Edward Snowden, but I admire his guts. At the moment his actions are paying off, but I foresee a gulag in his future.

90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Friday Night Babe Grace Potter

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: Tomato Garden

Soylent Green: Corset Cameo

Lindsay Mills AssJust saying, there’s a good chance that this will end badly for Lindsay Mills and Edward Snowden. But have fun in Russia, you crazy kids.

A View from the Beach: Hu’s Up Next? – Kelly Hu, That’s Who

Valley of the Shadow: October 2014 Tip Jar (and Magickal Gothy Muse)

PostalDog: Pamela Anderson Is Subtle

Animal Magnetism: Rule 5 Friday and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Night Is Still Bath Night

Enjoy your weekend my friends.

Is Jennifer Lawrence Dating a Washed-Up Rock Star?

Jennifer Lawrence Black SkirtBlackmailers Don’t Shoot has possibly heartbreaking news: the blog’s unofficial girlfriend has reportedly been seen with Coldplay singer Chris Martin. We hope that this is simply a result of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in the wake of the recent nude photo leak, but we are not optimistic.

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: All American Girl Kate Mara

American Power: Emily Ratajkowski Hot in Cosmopolitan Magazine November 2014

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Monday

The Daley Gator: Daley Gator Dailybabe

Nailgun Evi: Redskin Cheerleaders Rule 5

Jennifer Lawrence SadNote to Chris Martin: Your ex wife is not on your side. Gwyneth Paltrow can pretend that she approves of this relationship, but she’s secretly hoping that you fall on your face. That’s the real reason that she is encouraging you to pursue someone who is younger, hotter and childless.

90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Friday Night Babe Felicity Jones

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: Gone Fishing

Soylent Green: Corset Friday Quarantine

Jennifer Lawrence BoobsSeriously, Chris Martin is a bad poet. He can only write in rhyming couplets. That is very lame.

A View from the Beach: Keeley Hazell

Sad Man’s Tongue: Rockabilly Girls Style Gallery 6

PostalDog: Selena Gomez May Be Oblivious – It’s Possible.

Animal Magnetism: Rule 5 Friday and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Night Is Still Bath Night

Try to enjoy the weekend everyone. I know that this news will make it difficult.

Rule 5 Monday with Anna Kendrick

Anna Kendrick Red CarpetApologies to my readers. Last week was very busy, and the weekend wasn’t much different. The bad news, as far as this blog is concerned, is that we won’t make all of the Rule 5 link posts this week. The good news is that there will be two links for next week.

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: Zexy Asian Chicks

American Power: Sabine Jemeljanova 2015 Calendar

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Levitation

The Daley Gator: Dailybabe Saemi Yazawa

Nailgun Evi: NFL Cheerleaders for Week 4

Anna Kendrick ElleThere are no nude pictures of Anna Kendrick, at least thus far. Apparently there are pictures of her smoking, which is a far bigger crime these days.

90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Friday Night Babe Denise Quinones

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: Land of Opportunity

Soylent Green: Corset Friday CockTail Hour Hawtness

Anna Kendrick Red RabbitEventually there will be nude pictures of all of us on the Internet. It’s inevitable. I’m not happy about it, but you heard it here.

A View from the Beach: He Gets a Fancy Safety Suit . . .

Sad Man’s Tongue: Nora Lee Cardigans And Pin Ups: The Perfect Combination – Yep. Looks like Sad Man’s Tongue retired. Any replacement suggestions?

PostalDog: So What Have We Learned — the Fappening

Animal Magnetism: Rule 5 Friday and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Bedtime Totty

Hopefully we’ll be back on schedule after this week’s unexpected delays. I’ve said that a few times, though.

You Also Won’t Find Nude Photos of Kaley Cuoco Here

Kaley Cuoco Bikini SwanNope. I’m not even providing links this time. You all will just have to Google it. I have a headache today. Let’s get this thing going.

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: Penelope Cruz and Her Treasure Chest

American Power: Heidi Klum Flashback Photo on Instagram

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: The Man Who Saved Britain

The Daley Gator: Dailybabe Ally Maki

Nailgun Evi: Eartha Kitt Rule 5

Kaley Cuoco Bikini CaboWant to know something mildly depressing? The link on this blog that people have clicked the most in the last week or so is the Encyclopedia Dramatica page with nude pictures of Zoe Quinn. Have at it weirdos.

90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick – The Batman Is Very Happy Tonight and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Evangeline Lilly

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: Blondes R’ Us

Soylent Green: Corset Friday

Kaley Cuoco BikiniHere’s the story that inspired this post. Nude photos of Kim Kardashian were also leaked. Hardly a story. You could get those by tweeting Kim a picture of a $5 bill.

A View from the Beach: The Girl Of Summer 2014 – Emily Ratajkowski

Sad Man’s Tongue: The Perfect Hour For A Glass Of Pin Up Chocolat Is Now – This is a flashback. It looks like Sad Man’s Tongue might have retired.

PostalDog: Micaela Schaefer Has Stopped Fooling Around

Animal Magnetism: Rule 5 Friday and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Is Bath Night

Drop some Rule 5 links in the comments. R rated and under will be accepted.

Rule 5 Linkfest with Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift PaddleboardHappy Saturday you lovely people. Today’s linkfest is brought to you by Taylor Swift, for no reason other than she showed up in Google Entertainment news and that might lead to some clickbait. So yeah. Linkfest.

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: Angelina Jolie and Her Bulbous Torpedo Tatas

American Power: Nina Agdal for Leonisa Lingerie September 2014

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Are You Ready for Some Football

The Daley Gator: Dailybabe Lorraine Pascale

Nailgun Evi: U.S. Naval Academy Agita with #Gamergate Rule 5 Update – Eh. Anita Sarkeesian is kinda cute. Zoe Quinn, not so much.

Taylor Swift BikiniSpeaking of Zoe Quinn, last week’s Rule 5 post is still getting pretty healthy traffic. From what I can tell, Zoe and her harem are no longer the primary focus of GamerGate. That is definitely a positive development.

90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Another 49’er Cheerleader

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: Special Watch

Soylent Green: Corset Friday Fantasm

Taylor Swift ToplessTaylor Swift was the American Idol chick, right?

A View from the Beach: Rule 5 Saturday – The Girls of Graceland

Sad Man’s Tongue: Rockabilly Girls Style Gallery 71

PostalDog: Daily Duffster

Animal Magnetism: Rule 5 Friday and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Is Bath Night

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. I might go take a nap.

Destiny Review

Destiny ReviewBungie is requesting that reviewers not post first-day reviews of their new tour de force Destiny. By some coincidence, major gaming websites and online reviewers across the Internet have posted remarkably similar headlines following this request. Here are a few.

Destiny Review in Progress – Gamespot

Destiny Review Diary – GamesRadar

Review in Progress: Destiny – Destructoid

‘Destiny’ Review In Progress – Day One: To The Moon Alice! – Forbes

Where’s Our Destiny Review? – GameInformer

Other sources have their (or Bungie’s marketing department’s) editorial policies, but Blackmailers Don’t Shoot won’t let such petty considerations stand in the way of a scoop. Since fighting off a group of middle school students at midnight, I’ve stayed awake with a 5 Hour Energy reduction playing this magnificent work of art.

destiny-sniperFirst Impressions

It was when I first found myself flying over the snow-capped peaks of Ursula Major on a plasma weapon-laden flying bear that I first realized that Destiny is the best game since the last Halo game. Actually, I hesitate to use the word “game” to describe Destiny. In fact, I hesitate to use any words to describe Destiny, as language is but an imperfect vehicle by which we seek to understand the divine. To call Destiny great is to devalue the very notion of greatness. It would hardly be a stretch to assert that philosophy was invented so that one day mere man could better understand Destiny.

Destiny RiflesGraphics

Destiny doesn’t have graphics as we know them. What Destiny offers instead is a visual experience that explodes from the monitor like a busted Technicolor sewer pipe. In the 16 hours since the game has been dazzling my living room, this review marks the first time that I have taken my eyes off of the screen. Were it not for the sheer beauty of Destiny’s visual display, I fear that by now I may have gone totally blind.

Sound

Renaissance man believed that the planets made a celestial music that the human ear could not hear. The truth of that theory has now been revealed by Destiny’s soundtrack.

Destiny TableauxValue and Final Thoughts

The only negative thing that I can say about Destiny is that it has ruined all other games for me. That one negative is mitigated by the fact that I will never have to buy another game. Destiny is so – so – beyond any positive description that I can give, that I am happy playing it on my Playstation 3 and will never have to upgrade to a Playstation 4. I recommend, without hesitation, that you all go out and pay full price for Destiny. You will never need another game and you will never need another console.

Score: Numbers do not go high enough

 

College Is Back in Session

And that means the long-awaited return of the privileged children of the UCSB Microaggressions Facebook page. The moderator kicks off the new year by once again railing against the oppression that has landed him or her at a highly ranked university on the beach.

SJW MoronAt this point, no one with any sense should be offended when called an -ist, an -ite or a -phobe by a Social Justice Warrior. Don’t try to argue. Don’t point out the racism in what they’re saying. Just laugh at them.

Quinnspiracy Rule 5 Linkaround

Zoe Quinn NudeAt some point in the near future I plan to do a post on GamerGate and the Quinnspiracy. In fact, I almost wrote it up today, but decided that the Rule 5 linkfest was a far more important post. If you’re not a gamer or you don’t know what I’m talking about, here is a place to start.

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: Bai Fu Mei Chickies

American Power: Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea Hot ‘Booty’ Teaser

The Other McCain: Labor Day Weekend Lovelies

The Daley Gator: Dailybabe Kurara Chibana

Nailgun Evi: 49ers vs. Cowboys, 2014, Week 1, Rule 5

Zoe Quinn UnderwearThere’s a lot more where this came from, but once again I decided not to violate the blog’s PG-13 policy just for a few extra hits. If you want to see the stuff I won’t post, you’ll have to go here and scroll down.

90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Friday Night Babe Diane Guerrero

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: Oh Genie

Soylent Green: Corset Confinement

Zoe Quinn ButtPeople have been dropping by here all week looking for nude pictures of Jennifer Lawrence. I didn’t give in to temptation then, and I won’t now. Katy Anders would probably kill me if I did.

A View from the Beach: Ana Paula Araújo

Sad Man’s Tongue: Spanish Pin Up Girl Rachel Moon

PostalDog: So, No Dress Code at That Restaurant, Eh?

Animal Magnetism: Rule 5 Friday and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Is Bath Night

Sorry. I know this was hardly up to the normal Rule 5 quality that you all have come to expect. It’s just that I’ve been following this story and it doesn’t look like it’s going away.

You Won’t Find Nude Pictures of Jennifer Lawrence Here

Blackmailers Don’t Shoot has had a spike in traffic over the last 16 hours or so, and before my first cup of coffee I had that gleeful/terrified feeling that a blogger gets when he thinks that he managed to royally piss someone off. Alas, further review shows that people have been coming here looking for nude pictures of celebrities, most notably Jennifer Lawrence.

Jennifer Lawrence Oscars
That was my reaction too!

Jennifer Lawrence is this blog’s unofficial girlfriend, and aside from maintaining the blog’s PG-13 rating, chivalry demands that I not give in to such shameless behavior. Sure, it’s tempting, but we must maintain our standards.

Jennifer Lawrence
This isn’t good enough for you?

You could go to this link, which you could theoretically follow to the Reddit page, which is probably NSFW and probably Photoshopped. That’s on you. Blackmailers Don’t Shoot will remain innocent in this whole dirty affair.

Jennifer Lawrence Legs
This whole dirty affair.

Those of you who don’t want to take part in this whole feeding frenzy can check out the Blackmailers Don’t Shoot Jennifer Lawrence archive.

Update: More from Donald Douglas at American Power. PostalDog has the (NSFW) goods. The comments section at Vox Popoli is lively as usual.

Rule 5 Linkfest with Demi Lovato

Demi Lovato SunshineThe office closed early on Friday for Labor Day and I have a three day weekend. That’s called living the dream. The only thing that would improve the situation is if my job description included driving a golf cart. This week Blackmailers Don’t Shoot brings a standalone Demi Lovato post, because Selena Gomez had her own post and she’s been ruined with sustained Bieber cooties. And Demi is cute, in both her curvy and thin incarnations.

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: Blogging Magazine with Kari Byron - Yum…Nerd girls.

American Power: Hot Anais Zanotta Bikini Pics

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Peaches En Regalia

The Daley Gator: Dailybabe Yuu Kikkawa

Nailgun Evi: Red Solo Cup Feminists Rule 5 - Rule 5 can also be social commentary.

Demi Lovato Bikini90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Friday Night Babe Viviana Greco

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See… - Dayum!

Woodsterman: Playing Poker

Soylent Green: Happy Hour Hawtness

Demi Lovato Bikini ButtA View from the Beach: Cemetary Woman: Anna Falchi

Sad Man’s Tongue: The Kustom Kulture World of Angel Factory Photography

PostalDog: So Now It’s Backup the Backup?

Animal Magnetism: Rule 5 Friday and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Is Bath Night

Everyone have a great holiday weekend, and if you’re drinking find a driver.