Stupid Liberal Facebook Meme #548215

Stupid Liberal Facebook Meme

1. Because the CEOs are Obama donors.

1a. If the CEOs are not Obama donors, they will go to jail.

2. “Corporate personhood” is a legal abstraction that grants certain rights held by individuals to corporations. We don’t build prisons for legal abstractions.

3. Racism.

4. Cisgender transphobic heteronormativity.

5. Because you can’t throw a building in jail, you dumb suckhole.

Comedic Social Justice Media

Julianna Forlano[Trigger Warning: Microaggressions]

An important question being addressed at Nutroots Nation: Why is it that a bunch of oversensitive weenies who run for the smelling salts at the slightest hint of offense are thought of as humorless?

“The Left is supposed to be funnier than the Right, damn it,” the panel description stated. “So why do we so often sound in public like we’re stiltedly reading from a non-profit grant proposal?”

Pro tip: Applause and laughter are not the same thing.

“Comedy creates oneness and that is what our side wants,” according to Julianna Forlano, host of a news parody without laughter cues called “Absurdity Today.” She noted how her stand-up performance even created “oneness” at a Pennsylvania Elks Lodge, despite the crowd being filled with racist men (she could tell they were racist from the animal heads displayed on the walls).

1. Mass suicide doesn’t count.

2. They all agreed that your material sucked.

3. No one laughed

4. They all threw tomatoes at the stage.

Off the top of my head, people.

[Unfunny comic Katie Halper] explained that clever jokes by conservatives aren’t actually funny because such people lack empathy and nuance. “Progressives are more nuanced, statistically speaking,” Halper said. The science is settled.

Three Stooges
Empathy and nuance.

Read the whole thing. Here’s Ace, who actually is funny.

[T]he left has a tremendous number of sacred cows. Every little feel and bother they have, they believe to be Very Serious Indeed, and thus exclude from the realm of joking about 90% of the subjects in the human experience.

Of course, another huge trope of joking is the provocatively cynical statement — stating, hyperbolically, something dark about human motivations.

And progressive thugs can’t bear any joking on that score either, because what they’re sure about, more than anything else in the world, is the absolute metaphysical purity of their motives in all their behaviors and demands of their fellow citizens.

Check that out as well, while you’re at it.

Selena Gomez Posts Something on Instagram; People Flip Out

Selena Gomez ParasolGod I hate social media. When I don’t feel like making up a story for the weekly Rule 5 post, I search Google News Entertainment, because there’s always a story like this.

Selena Gomez posted a message on Instagram that is causing controversy. The 21-year-old singer and actress displayed It’s About Humanity. Pray For Gaza on the site and received backlash for treading into politics. Realizing that her post was causing a debate online, she later posted a photo and a caption saying, “And of course to be clear, I am not picking any sides. I am praying for peace and humanity for all!”


Goodstuff’s Cyber World: Jayne Mansfield Photo Blog

American Power: Summer Reading with Kate Upton

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: On The Beach

The Daley Gator: Michelle Jenneke

EBL: #thinspiration Rule 5: Twiggy

Selena Gomez Bathing SuitCan we please go back to a perhaps nonexistent time when an attractive young featherhead can say something dumb and everyone says, “That’s cute sweetie”? She dated Justin Bieber for God’s sake. Selena Gomez is no Mayim Bialik.

90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Chrissy Teigen

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: Static and Hula Hoops

Soylent Green: Way To Go Girl!

Selena Gomez BeachAnd Selena? This is why people are following you on Instagram.

A View from the Beach: Rule 5 Saturday – Fat Chicks Never Forgive, Never Forget – Chrissy Teigen

Sad Man’s Tongue: The Perfect Hour For A Glass Of Pin Up Chocolat Is Now

PostalDog: Lindsay Lohan

Animal Magnetism: Rule 5 Friday and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Is Bath Night

Happy Saturday everyone. Tip your waitresses.

Eddie Vedder Is Still an Idiot

I blame two people for the horror show that is Eddie Vedder: Andrew Wood and Kurt Cobain. If Andy Wood had had the decency to not overdose on smack, Mother Love Bone would have become famous and Eddie would still be a security guard in San Diego. Likewise, if Nirvana hadn’t been signed to Geffen, record executives wouldn’t have scoured every nightclub, VFW hall and bar mitzvah in Seattle trying to find the next big thing. It’s perhaps a fitting Generation X irony that these two are dead and we’re left with this shabby arena rock throwback.

That said, is this really as bad as the spin Twitchy is putting on it?

There are plenty of reasons to dislike Eddie Vedder. He’s a vapid fool and a bad poet who has been in the depths of a delusional Bono Complex since the early 90s. I went into the video expecting a full on moonbat rant about freeing Palestine and Mumia, and instead got this middle aged hippie drunkenly rambling about peace and kittens.

Come on people. That’s a waste of ammo.

BDS Anti-Semites Want You to Boycott These Brands

I saw this thanks to a lefty professor who wound up in my Facebook feed. Take note: Anti-Semitic BDS lefties who hate Israel really want you to avoid these products.

1. Sodastream

2. Jaffa Oranges

3. Ahava

4. Golan Heights Wine

5. Victoria’s Secret

6. Sabra Hummus

7. Mejdool Dates

8. Eden Springs Water

9. Hewlett Packard

Remember, our moral superiors in the BDS movement don’t want us to buy these products and shop these brands. Fuck ‘em.

Israeli Soldier BikiniHere’s the link to the Jew hating website. Don’t click on it.

Rule 5 Linkfest with Yaya Han

Yaya Han with SwordsI’m not even going to try to tie this week’s Rule 5 post to a news story, real or completely made up. This week Blackmailers Don’t Shoot brings you Yaya Han, one of the stars of Syfy’s Heroes of Cosplay. Hang around, click some links and enjoy.

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: Blogging Magazine with Helena Bonham Carter

American Power: Kelly Brook Spotted Leaving the Gym in Los Angeles

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Tuesday – Belated Independence Day Weekend Edition

The Daley Gator: Reima Tachibana

EBL: Argentina World Cup Rule 5

Valley of the Shadow: July 2014 Tip Jar and (Cyber) Goth Muse

Yaya Han Princess Leia90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Draya Michele

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: “Stay!”

Soylent Green: Heading To The Beach, LC?

Yaya Han Lei FangA View from the Beach: Christy Turlington

Sad Man’s Tongue: The Perfect Hour For A Glass Of Pin Up Chocolat Is Now

PostalDog: Tennis . . . It Does a Body Good

Animal Magnetism: Vacation Totty V and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Is Bath Night

Have a great weekend!

Yaya Han Raygun

Another Reason Black People Might Be Nervous About Illegal Immigration

This story is a couple months old, but it helps explain one of the reasons why we have seen so many black people in the news protesting the recent influx of illegal immigrants. From the L.A. Times:

Once controlled by a Latino gang, the [Ramona Gardens] housing project had seen crime drop dramatically. Moreover, black families were beginning to move back into the rows of garden apartments — more than 20 years after the firebombing of two black families prompted most African Americans to flee.

Then on Monday night, someone threw flaming Molotov cocktails at four apartments in Ramona Gardens. It had all the hallmarks of the racial attack from the area’s darker years.

People are inherently tribal and self-interested. The left plays on this while also pretending that it isn’t true. At some point black people will figure out that the Democrats have sold them out in favor of a larger potential voting bloc.

Ancient Rock Band to Record Another Dreadful Album

Pink Floyd hasn’t been any good since Syd Barrett went crazy, but thanks to 60s nostalgia they could probably record an entire album of David Gilmour farting into a tuba and sell a gazillion copies. HuffPo:

“The recording did start during The Division Bell sessions (and yes, it was the side project originally titled “The Big Spliff” that Nick Mason spoke about). Which is why there are Richard Wright tracks on it. But David and Nick have gone in and done a lot more since then,” McBroom-Hudson wrote on Facebook. “It was originally to be a completely instrumental recording, but I came in last December and sang on a few tracks. David then expanded on my backing vocals and has done a lead on at least one of them.”

I blame fellow Gen-Xers for this. We’re the ones who kept the Grateful Dead creaking across the country decades after they should have retired, and listening to Dark Side of the Moon while stoned was far less of a buzzkill than listening to anything by depressive grunge rockers. The only upside to this is that there are so few of the original members left in the group that it might as well not be a Pink Floyd album.

Demi Lovato Unfollows Selena Gomez on Twitter

Demi Lovato Bikini
Demi Lovato

Hell, why not use Rule 5 as a slump buster? There’s an illegal immigration disaster, Iraq is falling apart again and the president is a dismal failure. Amid all that comes momentous news that Demi Lovato has unfollowed Selena Gomez on Twitter.

Lovato also allegedly tweeted (she has since deleted the tweet) the following message: “BYE.” The tweet was accompanied by a graphic of her swimming in the ocean displaying the phrase: “Swimming away from the bulls**t bye bitch.”

Goodstuff’s Cyber World: Celebrating America’s Birthday with Beer

American Power: Domestic Goddess Christine McConnell

The Other McCain: Rule 5 Monday: Air-Cooled

The Daley Gator: Rhiannon Fish

EBL: Fireworks, Rule 5, and Idiots – Hahahahahahahaha!

Selena Gomez Bikini
Selena Gomez

Lest one gets the idea that this couldn’t be any stupider, there’s a possible Justin Bieber connection here.

Demi tried to help Selena with her substance problems and also getting rid of Justin from her life and it is apparent Selena refused to listen to Demi’s advice…The unfollowing of Selena is sending message that Demi is pissed. She is sick of Selena’s boy-who-cried-wolf mentality.”

90 Miles from Tyranny: Hot Pick Of The Late Night and Morning Mistress

Proof Positive: Friday Night Babes

Pirate’s Cove: If All You See…

Woodsterman: Beach Landing for Marine

Soylent Green: Auburn Awesome In The Tropics


Selena Gomez Demi Lovato
Happier times

That’s really all I have to say about this bit of clickbait.

A View from the Beach: Portuguese Princess Sara Sampaio

Sad Man’s Tongue: Nora Lee Cardigans And Pin Ups: The Perfect Combination

PostalDog: Happy 4th of July!

Animal Magnetism: Animal’s Rule 5 America and Saturday Gingermageddon

Theo Spark: Saturday Is Bath Night

Enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend!